Captivated
by Bebe Gurrl
Summary: Diao Chan captivates the hearts of countless men with her grace and beauty. This time, however,Diao Chan is the one captivated.


The moon was enchanting that night, and so is the light that came from it. All the while that I have witness its radiance, my hands were tied behind me tightly as a prisoner. I have fulfilled my duty but I have never thought that it would be my last; somehow the knowledge that I did my job well comforted me. My hands were aching for I have not moved them ever since I was held captive by the soldiers. I could feel my wrists bleed from the tight embrace of the thick rope, I could feel the rope getting wet with my own blood. These will be the last moments of pain in my life.

I waited kneeling on the grassy fields, two soldiers in red as my security. What could a woman like me do? My knees were aching from the pressure of my position and I could not get myself up—how am I to run away? I waited for too long, I wish it had been quicker. But suddenly as I saw a figure illuminated by the torch from afar, I knew that I waited for a purpose.

The figure stood there watching me—but from the pain of my body I could not concentrate well to recognize who it was. How I wish I could unbind my hands just for a moment so I could rub my eyes and make my vision clearer. The fire from the torch helped me see the details of his face and body. He was so still that even the heat of the torch did not bother him to move any further. I felt my focus becoming clearer and clearer as he stood without any movement, almost rooted to the ground. I was watching him—and he was watching me.

I felt a smile emerging from my bleeding lips as I felt his eyes on me for the last moment. Then I averted my eyes slowly, down to his neck , to his chest, till I reached the ground that he was standing on. I knew him so clearly that moment when it all came back to me little by little. I felt glad that even for a night, he was able to show me what I was looking for.

Those eyes captivated me the most—and I dared to look at it once more before I heard heavy footsteps behind me. That was Death walking, with a broad sword and a grin on his face. My heart was racing as it came nearer and nearer until it paused in front of me, showing me again the thick blade that will cut me and end my existence. For the last time, I looked at those golden, mesmerizing eyes that I used to look upon and smile just yesterday. Yes… I clearly remember….

His hands were tied behind a wooden post inside my tent late afternoon. My bodyguards have captured him, and he was the only hostage that my unit has been able to bring to my tent. Lu Bu did not want me to go to battle but I dared not to follow his instructions. He was only a part of my job, and so is the tyrant Dong Zhuo, and they have no control of me for as long as I live. However, that very day when I saw my one and only captive, both of them were routed by the allied forces. I was lucky enough to escape the wrath of Yuan Shao. I did not know what had happened to them now that my unit had been separated from the rest of the army.

My captive's face was bearing quite wretched, fearful expression and I did not fail to notice a cut on his forehead. Blood was oozing down from the wound to his face. Dark brown hair concealed it, hair so silky and smooth. I could hear his heavy breathing but there was no struggle in him. Perhaps he was afraid, but when he turned his head around and looked at me—he was astonished to see such a sight, a woman who seemed too weak for war.

I had no plans of keeping him hostage nor ending his life. My unit only consists of 50 men, most of them women warriors. It will be too costly to risk my life for this boy , for as long as he is with me, I will be haunted by his forces, but that is, if they knew that he was still alive as my captive. I stared at him, thinking of plans. I noticed a hat resting beside him.

"Is that hat yours?", I asked politely. He did not seem to hear what I said; he did not even turn his head around to see me nor those lips moved to give an answer. He simply had his head facing the ground, and from my view he appeared to be lifeless, if it was not for the heavy, furious breathing. "Tell me your name, warrior. Who are the people you work for?", I asked again. This time, he turned his cold gaze up—and that was when I first saw it, bizarre, mesmerizing golden eyes that seemed to speak louder than words.

"You do not have to know my name.", he replied, and I heard the voice of a very young man. I began thinking of myself—I was not fit for this kind of world, I was too young to even wield these maces, and yet there were some who were younger than me. I guess I was not alone, and it gave me comfort.

Grabbing a small towel, I dipped it in the bowl of hot water beside me, and then I attempted to wipe his face. My hand has not even touched him yet, but he moved his face afar, rejecting my act of concern. I stared at him in annoyance. "I command you to tell me who you are.", I said sternly. But being strict does not apply to this boy, even if I sounded demanding he did not care. I tried to be soft after that so that he would speak to me. "I am Diao Chan, and I work for"

"I know who you are!", he interrupted rudely, not giving me the chance to make him see that I was gentle.

Somehow, I was angered by his rudeness. I do not want to look that I was trying hard just to hear his name. I gave up that minute. I gave him one more stare before removing my shoes from my tired feet.

My wardrobe needs to be changed, but now that I am not alone in my tent, I could not have the privacy to change my garments. I was itching from the blood and dust of it, and I was relieved when I noticed him staring at the ground again, giving me the chance to change my clothes. I felt the urge to remove the straps one by one, until all fell to the ground.

I reached for the robe beside my bed, but I had to pass on his side so I could get it. I tried to be cautious not to make him look, but with such a quick motion his head rose and saw me with nothing to cover and hide myself with. Quickly, as if sorry, he turned his head back, giving me the opportunity to get my robe and finally cover myself.

I laid myself comfortably on the bed. From the outside I could see the setting sun. There was a platter of grapes on the floor. I picked it up and ate to my heart's content, and that's when I felt it again. He was looking at me. Supposing he was hungry, I handed the platter out to him, eager to see his reaction. Strangely, he stared back at me, and I remembered that his hands were tied.

Getting off from the bed, I knelt in front of him, but I was not sure of what to do. It will look foolish if I feed him like he was my master but it will also be foolish if I untie his hands. But I looked at him; he seemed harmless. He was unarmed, and at the same time I felt within me that I wanted to know him better, I wanted him to speak up. I wanted to talk and be myself; it has been a long time since I was my true self because of my job, a job to let people turn against each other, a job for people to kill people. Perhaps now is the time to let myself free.

"Do you promise not to harm me if I untie you?", I asked in a whisper.

"Why would I harm you…?"

Hearing those soft words I gently removed the thick rope that bound his hands together. The first thing he did was to rotate his wrists and hold them tightly in pain. And then he stared at me with those bizarre eyes, and I was captivated; I could not move. It was not long before he turned his gaze down again, and I was back to myself when those eyes turned away. "Please eat.", I offered.

I stopped eating and grabbed the towel from the basin nearby. It displeased me to see the blood on his face. I did a second attempt to wipe his face again. This time, he let me do as I wished, and he only smirked in pain as I gently wiped the red, thick fluid from his wound. He was becoming fond of me.

Out of curiosity I asked him again, "What is your name?" He averted his gaze to my chest and then dramatically looked me in the eye. "Lu Xun…", he whispered. I was surprised when he started speaking of my job.

"Your looks could start a war between nations. Must you really take this job…?"

I was speechless. Suddenly, for the first time, I could not defend myself for taking my duty. And so I asked myself the same question. I could not blame him for asking. He made me realize that I was full of deceit, betrayal, greed, lust…

"What else is my worth in this world? If I do not take this task, I will be of no use…",I said as I stopped wiping his face. I never knew how beautiful it was. He was lovely.

"So you are afraid of being worthless?", he asked again. He gave me time to think before he finally spoke the words that made me realize. "Do you think motivating a man's greed would give you worth? What are you without a man's impurities?"

He spoke nothing but the truth, the reality that I tried to run away from all this time. I realized that I could not run away from it' there will always be someone who would remind me. That someone is him, someone whom I barely know, someone who is my captive.

Then I felt that I lack of every real thing in the world. But I though about it: nobody had cared this way before. I need something true, genuine, something not motivated by lust. I felt the urge to try if he can truly make me experience what I missed. "Even if you are wiser than me, you are still my captive and you will do whatever I say…", I whispered.

"Yes… I am still your captive."

"Then show me real love! Let me experience the feeling that is pure and honest.", I commanded, taking my robe off.

"Diao Chan….."

I came closer, bold and willing. "Show me how it feels like to be loved by somebody for who I am. Lu Xun… pretend I'm someone you love."

"There is no need to pretend… I am not numb to neglect the needs of someone as beautiful as you.", he whispered to me. He then drew closer, breathing at my neck softly and then making his way up. He started whispering so close to my ear, "You have been deprived, my lady, and you deserve more of what you are asking for…"

And he kept his words. That night, I found what I was looking for with him. I never wanted to part from that sensation that he brought upon me over and over. Untying his hands led me to another place, free from the things that I did not understand. I was glad that even before I die, I had gained the most precious thing that I missed—and that my captive was the one who had me captivated.


End file.
